๐ข no change ๐ง
Posted: Thu, Jan 29, 2026 11:04:15 AM
is too small or too big for my recovery. the problem ends up being that i miss the small changes until they pile up into what feels like a tectonic shift. the good news, in all of this, is that notice the tiny incremental changes in my friends and peers and often comment on them in a private one-on-one manner. they always seem so surprised by my observation and based on my own experience, i can extrapolate to fill in the blanks. what i see the most often in me, when it comes to change, good or bad, is how those in my life react to my words and deeds. it is ironic that someone like myself, who used to be so hung up on what i thought other thought of me, was so totally blind to how those around me were reacting. now that what others think of me has lost its punch i am more aware of their reactions.
my life, over the past few years has been full of change and where once upon a time i had two doctors now i have five. where i used to spend forty hours or more, a week, working for a paycheck, now it is less than twenty. the list can go on and on, but the change i am seeing within myself is a softening of my edges around who i see myself as and what my expectations for that man, happen to be. i know there is still a long way to go in this part of my journey, nine more steps o be exact. i sense that the change is already underway, by being observant about how i walk through my days.
i planned on going to meeting today, but as i work on my AI project, i am having the best session i have has in a week and do not want to lose my momentum. my rhythm and creative flow is moving right along and i think, that for me, right here and right now, staying in the flow is not a bad alr0trenative to my plan. at this moment i feel passionate about what i am doing, my ideas are being realized and the tool is cooperating. thee days, i know i have the time to step way and come back, after all i have nowhere i need to be today. these days, i also know that i am easily distracted and that the creative ideas i have in my head, may or may not remain, if i step out of the flow i have going. the decision has been made, keep doing what i am doing and allow myself the freedom to be okay with a bit of improvisation, instead of slavishly sticking to my schedule.
my life, over the past few years has been full of change and where once upon a time i had two doctors now i have five. where i used to spend forty hours or more, a week, working for a paycheck, now it is less than twenty. the list can go on and on, but the change i am seeing within myself is a softening of my edges around who i see myself as and what my expectations for that man, happen to be. i know there is still a long way to go in this part of my journey, nine more steps o be exact. i sense that the change is already underway, by being observant about how i walk through my days.
i planned on going to meeting today, but as i work on my AI project, i am having the best session i have has in a week and do not want to lose my momentum. my rhythm and creative flow is moving right along and i think, that for me, right here and right now, staying in the flow is not a bad alr0trenative to my plan. at this moment i feel passionate about what i am doing, my ideas are being realized and the tool is cooperating. thee days, i know i have the time to step way and come back, after all i have nowhere i need to be today. these days, i also know that i am easily distracted and that the creative ideas i have in my head, may or may not remain, if i step out of the flow i have going. the decision has been made, keep doing what i am doing and allow myself the freedom to be okay with a bit of improvisation, instead of slavishly sticking to my schedule.
∞ DT ∞