Some memes

propels me forward into each day of living a program of active recovery and is certainly a foil against my inherent desire to do as little as possible to maintain my status quo. it is not as if i live in a world where i expect to stay clean on what i did for my recovery, yesterday, BUT, there are days when i wish i could do the bare minimum and get all the rewards. one of the things that keeps coming up over the past couple of weeks is all of a sudden needing to support some of the men that i sponsor. not that i do not know how to do so, but i am way out of practice, as most of those men seem to be doing well enough on their own. my sponsorship muscles got way out of shape and it is taking a minute for me to get them back to optimal. one thing i do notice, however, is my willingness to become active in their recovery process again, which i see as a good sign.
thinking about my early days, which was what i “heard” the loudest as i sat this morning, i see that it sheer willpower and stubborn determination that got me over the hump, to find the willingness to stay clean. it is hard for me to imagine what i was like back in those days. today i see that struggle in the lives of other addicts and i am more than willing to provide them what i ended up getting once i found that modicum of willingness.
one thing i can state, is that all the men i am currently supporting seemed to have grown a bit of willingness lately, some certainly more than others, especially the two new guys that have asked me to guide them through the maze of the early recovery process. right here and right now, i have some steps to get in and some work to do on my laptop, as it has been gathering dust for over a month. i think that i will post this little ditty and get on with my day, after all, it is better for me to front-load my steps rather than have to catch-up later.

∞ DT ∞