โ today i have a full life, complete with all the feelings... โ
Posted: Tue, Jun 13, 2006 07:45:08 AM
...and problems that go with living in reality.
and some days i view this as a curse, while others i see it as a blessing. when i was an active participant in my addiction my life did not consisted of a whole lot of nothing day after day -- get high -- go to work -- come home -- get high -- watch tv -- get high -- go out partying -- get high -- come home -- get high -- and go to bed. the only variation was the go out partying, as i progressed down that path i was less welcome to party with my friends and less likely to desire to party with them.
early recovery was not much different -- get up -- go to work -- hit a nooner -- work some more -- drop a UA -- hit a meeting -- go home and go to bed.
these days the last thing i know is what exactly my day will bring except the get up and go to bed part, and of course, i feel there is never enough time to do all that i NEED to do and worse all that i WANT to do. finding balance is, and managing my time are lessons that i am being taught on a daily basis. i am however, grateful that the rhythm of my life has changed and that for the first time in a very long time, i am excited, and i use that term very loosely, to get out of bed and see what the day will bring me. yes i am usually swamped with all kinds of demands on my waking hours, and yes i am usually the last one that i take care of and yes life can be a bit hectic leading me to be a whiny, grumpy codger. BUT i am so grateful that i can stay clean another day and have the luxury of a full life to bitch about -- after all it is just another gift that i have received because i choose to walk the path of recovery today. like any other gift there is a price to pay, which i gratefully accept right here and right now -- DO WHAT EVER I NEED TO DO TO STAY CLEAN ONE MORE DAY!
and some days i view this as a curse, while others i see it as a blessing. when i was an active participant in my addiction my life did not consisted of a whole lot of nothing day after day -- get high -- go to work -- come home -- get high -- watch tv -- get high -- go out partying -- get high -- come home -- get high -- and go to bed. the only variation was the go out partying, as i progressed down that path i was less welcome to party with my friends and less likely to desire to party with them.
early recovery was not much different -- get up -- go to work -- hit a nooner -- work some more -- drop a UA -- hit a meeting -- go home and go to bed.
these days the last thing i know is what exactly my day will bring except the get up and go to bed part, and of course, i feel there is never enough time to do all that i NEED to do and worse all that i WANT to do. finding balance is, and managing my time are lessons that i am being taught on a daily basis. i am however, grateful that the rhythm of my life has changed and that for the first time in a very long time, i am excited, and i use that term very loosely, to get out of bed and see what the day will bring me. yes i am usually swamped with all kinds of demands on my waking hours, and yes i am usually the last one that i take care of and yes life can be a bit hectic leading me to be a whiny, grumpy codger. BUT i am so grateful that i can stay clean another day and have the luxury of a full life to bitch about -- after all it is just another gift that i have received because i choose to walk the path of recovery today. like any other gift there is a price to pay, which i gratefully accept right here and right now -- DO WHAT EVER I NEED TO DO TO STAY CLEAN ONE MORE DAY!
∞ DT ∞