Blog entry for:
Wed, Jun 13, 2007 09:28:16 AM
μ today i have a full life, μ
posted: Wed, Jun 13, 2007 09:28:16 AM
complete with all the feelings and problems that go with living in reality.
and yes i really have a full life these days. i was just whining about this issue to my sponsor what seems forever ago, but actually only a couple of weeks ago. life is way too full some days for me, and i forget what life was like for me when i got clean. work, sleep, TV and using. of course finding the ways and means were also time consuming, but my life was rather empty compared to today. time was always the issue, even in those empty days that were my reality. so dealing with the reality that has come from this new manner of living is quite a different issue. here it is shortly past 10 am, i have already done a bit of work, visited my sponsee in the boulder county sheriff’s bed and breakfast, wrote a letter, and now sitting smoking a cigar, writing this little ditty. so these days, i have a very full life, and am apt to become a victim of my own success. well not really, however one of my character defects is to allow myself to believe i am a victim, whether or not that is true is besides the point, if i feel victimized, i can cut back on those things that do not seem to further my goals, like meeting attendance, working with others, daily inventories,step work and meditation. all of those things that consume my time and keep me clean and active in recovery, but do not pay the bills, allow me to spend more time with my sweetie, or just kick back and do nothing.
the consequences of such behavior is probably losing everything i have worked so hard to achieve, and the gifts i have been given as a result of accepting this new manner of living. those are consequences i am unwilling to accept today! PERIOD! so back to the problem at hand, learning how to deal with the reality of this new life. one day at a time, i will get over the feeling of being way too busy and accept that i do want to recover, i do want to live a program of recovery and i am not a victim but a willing participant in my life. so back to work and into the rest of my day, with a feeling of gratitude that i am not in jail, and that i have a life thatis beyond my wildest dreams.
and yes i really have a full life these days. i was just whining about this issue to my sponsor what seems forever ago, but actually only a couple of weeks ago. life is way too full some days for me, and i forget what life was like for me when i got clean. work, sleep, TV and using. of course finding the ways and means were also time consuming, but my life was rather empty compared to today. time was always the issue, even in those empty days that were my reality. so dealing with the reality that has come from this new manner of living is quite a different issue. here it is shortly past 10 am, i have already done a bit of work, visited my sponsee in the boulder county sheriff’s bed and breakfast, wrote a letter, and now sitting smoking a cigar, writing this little ditty. so these days, i have a very full life, and am apt to become a victim of my own success. well not really, however one of my character defects is to allow myself to believe i am a victim, whether or not that is true is besides the point, if i feel victimized, i can cut back on those things that do not seem to further my goals, like meeting attendance, working with others, daily inventories,step work and meditation. all of those things that consume my time and keep me clean and active in recovery, but do not pay the bills, allow me to spend more time with my sweetie, or just kick back and do nothing.
the consequences of such behavior is probably losing everything i have worked so hard to achieve, and the gifts i have been given as a result of accepting this new manner of living. those are consequences i am unwilling to accept today! PERIOD! so back to the problem at hand, learning how to deal with the reality of this new life. one day at a time, i will get over the feeling of being way too busy and accept that i do want to recover, i do want to live a program of recovery and i am not a victim but a willing participant in my life. so back to work and into the rest of my day, with a feeling of gratitude that i am not in jail, and that i have a life thatis beyond my wildest dreams.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
↔ today i have a full life, complete with all the feelings... ↔ 401 words ➥ Tuesday, June 13, 2006 by: donnot… i may be complaining about the miracle of the life that is mine today. however, … 391 words ➥ Friday, June 13, 2008 by: donnot
Σ there just are not enough hours in the day to get everything done … 471 words ➥ Saturday, June 13, 2009 by: donnot
↑ the program is working a miracle in my life … 561 words ➥ Sunday, June 13, 2010 by: donnot
‡ this program is working miracles in in my life ‡ 446 words ➥ Monday, June 13, 2011 by: donnot
〈 i remember that my life i have, is a miracle 〉 692 words ➥ Wednesday, June 13, 2012 by: donnot
µ some days i complain that my days seem so full: µ 805 words ➥ Thursday, June 13, 2013 by: donnot
§ not so long ago, i was not capable of having a life § 616 words ➥ Friday, June 13, 2014 by: donnot
¹ all the feelings ² 651 words ➥ Saturday, June 13, 2015 by: donnot
🎆 complaining about 🎇 755 words ➥ Monday, June 13, 2016 by: donnot
⦕ becoming free ⦔ 733 words ➥ Tuesday, June 13, 2017 by: donnot
🙻 living in reality, 🙻 711 words ➥ Wednesday, June 13, 2018 by: donnot
🏅 living a life 🏅 590 words ➥ Thursday, June 13, 2019 by: donnot
😇 my full life, 😈 504 words ➥ Saturday, June 13, 2020 by: donnot
🌌 free to live 🌌 376 words ➥ Sunday, June 13, 2021 by: donnot
😉 when it comes 😉 344 words ➥ Monday, June 13, 2022 by: donnot
🤨 humility 🤨 454 words ➥ Tuesday, June 13, 2023 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 1
2) What is meant by speaking thus of favour and disgrace? Disgrace
is being in a low position (after the enjoyment of favour). The getting
that (favour) leads to the apprehension (of losing it), and the losing
it leads to the fear of (still greater calamity):--this is what is
meant by saying that favour and disgrace would seem equally to be
feared. And what is meant by saying that honour and great calamity
are to be (similarly) regarded as personal conditions? What makes
me liable to great calamity is my having the body (which I call myself);
if I had not the body, what great calamity could come to me?