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to resenting how busy i may be, i am certainly a professional, even when i seem to be doing little to nothing at all. in active addiction i used, gathered the ways and means to use some more, with very few outside interests. traveling to Tahiti, Greece, Mexico, Iceland and Ireland never seemed to be in the realm of possibilities, as i could barely scratch up enough cash to join my friends on a rafting weekend in Buena Vista. owning a home, where one has to replace water heaters and pay a mortgage was never part of my “plan.” creating a life with a loving partner, seemed beyond my emotional capability, as i had been “burned” by being vulnerable many times in my life. when i look at the life i am living today, as full or as empty as i may happen to perceive in ant given slice of time, i can see the effect recovery has had on this addict and how my life, such as it is, may provide some hope to one of my peers, that they, too, can grow a different sort of life, as well.
i may whine and moan about having to commute to the office a few days a week, and trust me i do. the fact of the matter is, unlike when i was in active addiction, i enjoy getting out of the house and interacting with people on a professional level. although i am not one of those who throws the word miracle around, lightly, my life today is certainly a bit miraculous, BECAUSE i put the effort into doing my best to live a program of active recovery. my days of being a passive observer of my life are long gone, but could return, if i choose to go down that rabbit hole. just for today, i will be grateful for a life beyond my wildest dreams and head on out to the office, to earn my daily bread.

∞ DT ∞