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from the start?! over the days i have been clean and actually a participant in my recovery, i have watched my peers, time and again, attempt to protect the newcomers from the reality of life on its own terms. whether it is a rose-colored glasses sort of share, not taking the aside and explaining the language of the fellowship and why we use it or allowing them to go on and on about how “proud” they are in their efforts to stay clean. the rooms are much softer and certainly a whole lot kinder than when i walked into the doors, but i often wonder if the pendulum has swung too far and we, as a local fellowship need to toughen up a little bit. IMHO, a bit of tough love instead of coddling the newcomer may actually help them to stand on their own, sooner rather than later.
ah, but i am very conservative when it comes to the program and very resistant to change. i want the FNG, to get clean, keep coming back and coming back clean, i just am more old school about the methods to do that. i am not sure i would have made the move into recovery, if the fellowship was not a whole lot harder, meaner and less harsh than it was. i was challenged right from the beginning and what impressed me the most was that the hared i attempted to disqualify myself, the more adamant my peers became about how i deserved to give recovery a chance and do the next right thing, no matter how hard, cruel or unusual it might have seemed to me. that tough love approach worked with me, because i was determined to prove those fuckers wrong and recover, just to spite them. 😜
just for today, i am okay with being more welcoming, kinder and having my rough edges rounded off a bit. the men i sponsor however, know i may look soft but when it comes to their recovery i am diamond hard and will constantly challenge and push them to be the sort of men they have always wanted to be, whether they like it or not.

∞ DT ∞