๐ป the more regularly ๐บ
Posted: Fri, Nov 28, 2025 08:30:56 AM
i share my experience with others, the more regularly i am reminded of the hope i have found in recovery. i have often been accused by my peers of being too dark when i share. i have also been accused of making my life in recovery seem less than the perfect picture they want me to portray for the sake of the FNGs. ironically, the one part of me that i gave up first, when it came to looking like the model of the recovering addict, was sharing only the brightest spots of my life in recovery and minimizing how i got there and what i had to endure to do so. ever since the day i woke up to the fact that most newcomers more than likely do not want the rose-colored glasses version of my life, i have always tempered hope with the pain and courage it took for me to get there. life as a recovering addict, at least for me, is never all yippy-skippy and i am more than happy to let others know that is the reality.
yesterday, i chose to perform some service for my home group and my fellowship, by supporting an area event. although it was not my intention, i ended up being the “featured speaker.” i got the sort of praise i once craved and in another phase of my recovery was embarrassed by, even though all i did was share my take on how i see gratitude through the lens of my life today. what i took from that “praise” was maybe i might be doing something correctly, in my interactions with my peers. ever since i have started coming out of my shell, because of my adventures in retail, i am more observant about how others may seem to see me. what they see and what i see may not always align, as i am still one sick pup from time to time and for every small compliment i may receive, my head can concoct a myriad of things that counter and diminish that praise. yesterday, for a change, i allowed myself to accept the offerings of my peers and not minimize how they made me feel. i am coming to believe that is a symptom of my THIRD STEP taking hold and i just need to let go and let that process play itself out. i am good today and i know that i have stuff i want to do, stuff i desire to do and stuff that is a waste of time that i really, really want to do. i think, just for today, i will leave the latter behind and let myself get through today, focusing of the former two.
yesterday, i chose to perform some service for my home group and my fellowship, by supporting an area event. although it was not my intention, i ended up being the “featured speaker.” i got the sort of praise i once craved and in another phase of my recovery was embarrassed by, even though all i did was share my take on how i see gratitude through the lens of my life today. what i took from that “praise” was maybe i might be doing something correctly, in my interactions with my peers. ever since i have started coming out of my shell, because of my adventures in retail, i am more observant about how others may seem to see me. what they see and what i see may not always align, as i am still one sick pup from time to time and for every small compliment i may receive, my head can concoct a myriad of things that counter and diminish that praise. yesterday, for a change, i allowed myself to accept the offerings of my peers and not minimize how they made me feel. i am coming to believe that is a symptom of my THIRD STEP taking hold and i just need to let go and let that process play itself out. i am good today and i know that i have stuff i want to do, stuff i desire to do and stuff that is a waste of time that i really, really want to do. i think, just for today, i will leave the latter behind and let myself get through today, focusing of the former two.
∞ DT ∞