๐คจ staying open-minded ๐คฏ
Posted: Sun, Dec 7, 2025 12:09:20 PM
and teachable about the basic principles of recovery, allows my understanding to deepen and mature. there are times when i just do not want to be either mature or grown up and want to hide behind the factoid that i stopped aging emotionally the first day i got high. the only problem with that dodge, is that i have been clean for too long for that to be used as an excuse anymore, dammit all! the simple fact of the matter is i am now on of those “Old Guys” that are supposed to lead, rather than follow, which from time to time, certainly rubs me the wrong way. 🤣
this morning, as i am anxious to get out and about, i need to pause for a second and allow myself the freedom to make sure that i have written all that i need to write, in other words, pause and consider what it is that is important today. right now, it is football and cigars that are screaming at me, rather than brain dumpery and recovery. what i heard this morning, as i sat and as i ran was that i can be so freaking closed minded, especially to interacting with newcomers, who happen to give off one of those vibes that makes my skin crawl. when i see that particulate peer the next time, i need to admit i am wrong without tripping into why i keep shutting him down. in all honesty, i really do not like him and it feels as if he is just fronting recovery, rather than actually participating in it, and i should know, as that is a huge part of my recovery origin story. my feelings may not be facts and as a result i need to allow him the freedom to connect with me, while keeping my distance. otherwise i will say or do something that will trigger an amends or worse chase him out of the fellowship, neither of which is a consequence i have the desire to manifest, just for today.
this morning, as i am anxious to get out and about, i need to pause for a second and allow myself the freedom to make sure that i have written all that i need to write, in other words, pause and consider what it is that is important today. right now, it is football and cigars that are screaming at me, rather than brain dumpery and recovery. what i heard this morning, as i sat and as i ran was that i can be so freaking closed minded, especially to interacting with newcomers, who happen to give off one of those vibes that makes my skin crawl. when i see that particulate peer the next time, i need to admit i am wrong without tripping into why i keep shutting him down. in all honesty, i really do not like him and it feels as if he is just fronting recovery, rather than actually participating in it, and i should know, as that is a huge part of my recovery origin story. my feelings may not be facts and as a result i need to allow him the freedom to connect with me, while keeping my distance. otherwise i will say or do something that will trigger an amends or worse chase him out of the fellowship, neither of which is a consequence i have the desire to manifest, just for today.
∞ DT ∞