๐ค how am i ๐ค
Posted: Fri, Dec 12, 2025 06:55:39 AM
applying what i am learning in recovery to other parts of my life, and what can i do today to further that purpose? this morning i have a lot of activities to cram into an early morning. for a change, i am having to write this before i get the dawg out for a walk and get myself out for a tour of the neighborhood. my life has been changing lately and the FEAR of that change is driving me to distraction, when i allow it to take over. what is happening instead, as i prepare to start writing my Fourth Step, is that i am actually letting go of what is not rational and attempting to find some balance between what i know and what i feel. my little part time job feels as if it is about to get a lot bigger in my life and i need to learn to make room for the consequences of the process for which i volunteered.
it is weird that the last thought i had last night and what i was thinking about when i awoke this morning was all about someone else and the report i received of their less than stellar behavior. i was not witness to the event and i cannot speak to anyone about it, but it certainly was on my mind and that sucks as they are hardly entitled to my bandwidth or a surrender of my personal power. as i consider what it is that trapped me in that manner of thinking, i know there is a part of me that could tattle on them to their sponsor. that is a behavior that is familiar to me, since the thought of what they id=id is making me miserable, i should turn around and make their lives miserable as well. i am quite familiar with dragging everyone around me down into my pit of misery and i certainly have a choice today, whether or not to engage in that behavior.
it is time to get out and about and carry my principles and purpose forward into this day. i am not a saintlike recovery guru and more than likely will never be one. i am, however, an addict in recovery who wants to do life a bit better todaty, than yesterday and who is willing and able to give it his best, just for today.
it is weird that the last thought i had last night and what i was thinking about when i awoke this morning was all about someone else and the report i received of their less than stellar behavior. i was not witness to the event and i cannot speak to anyone about it, but it certainly was on my mind and that sucks as they are hardly entitled to my bandwidth or a surrender of my personal power. as i consider what it is that trapped me in that manner of thinking, i know there is a part of me that could tattle on them to their sponsor. that is a behavior that is familiar to me, since the thought of what they id=id is making me miserable, i should turn around and make their lives miserable as well. i am quite familiar with dragging everyone around me down into my pit of misery and i certainly have a choice today, whether or not to engage in that behavior.
it is time to get out and about and carry my principles and purpose forward into this day. i am not a saintlike recovery guru and more than likely will never be one. i am, however, an addict in recovery who wants to do life a bit better todaty, than yesterday and who is willing and able to give it his best, just for today.
∞ DT ∞