๐ focusing on ๐
Posted: Mon, Jan 5, 2026 07:13:58 AM
where i am in the moment, rather than distracting myself with the what was and what might be, keeps me grounded in the real world. i hate to admit it, i am easily distracted, in meditation, at work, when i am at a meeting and even when i am talking one-on-one with someone. i certainly could go running to a medical professional to speak about being obsessive and easily distracted and who knows, i might even get a diagnosis, which seems par for the course these days. what i choose to do instead, is work towards being more present in the here and now through the skills i have built in recovery. i often wonder if those who seek out a diagnosis are really and truly happy when they start getting medicated, as i know i was not way back when i was forced to seek out a diagnosis by the powers that be.
this morning, as i sat, of course more than one distraction tried to take hold. ironically, while considering how to be present, my mind drifted to all sorts of different topics, such as what cigar i was going to smoke at work today. i can remember how hard it was to once squeeze out five minutes of quiet and these days, the twenty minutes i sit, still has moments of random, seemingly disconnected flotsam and jetsam of random crap, floating to the top, begging for to dwell on them. what i do instead, is acknowledge them and return to that quiet place i have found so comforting, on a daily basis. do i connect with some sort of HIGHER POWER, as i listen to the quiet? i really do not know, nor do i care. i have stopped asking those sort of questions, as seeking the answers to them create a circular sort of puzzle on par with what came first the chicken or the egg. what i get is being f0refreshed and the ability to bit just a bit more present in my daily, real world life, for this slice of twenty-four hours.
as much as i would love to go on, NOT, i need to get moving into the world that will not wait for me. i can allow myself to drift into the whatever, every now and again, but just for today, when i am needed to be present and a part of my life, i will strive to do so.
this morning, as i sat, of course more than one distraction tried to take hold. ironically, while considering how to be present, my mind drifted to all sorts of different topics, such as what cigar i was going to smoke at work today. i can remember how hard it was to once squeeze out five minutes of quiet and these days, the twenty minutes i sit, still has moments of random, seemingly disconnected flotsam and jetsam of random crap, floating to the top, begging for to dwell on them. what i do instead, is acknowledge them and return to that quiet place i have found so comforting, on a daily basis. do i connect with some sort of HIGHER POWER, as i listen to the quiet? i really do not know, nor do i care. i have stopped asking those sort of questions, as seeking the answers to them create a circular sort of puzzle on par with what came first the chicken or the egg. what i get is being f0refreshed and the ability to bit just a bit more present in my daily, real world life, for this slice of twenty-four hours.
as much as i would love to go on, NOT, i need to get moving into the world that will not wait for me. i can allow myself to drift into the whatever, every now and again, but just for today, when i am needed to be present and a part of my life, i will strive to do so.
∞ DT ∞