Some memes

to be kind and generous today. if someone points it out, i can acknowledge them and acknowledge that i have changed. i have said it in the past and will echo it here, when i came out of active addiction i was not inherently kind. i could appear kind, but there was always a string attached to my kindness and there was always an expectation of return. as i stayed clean, i saw that i could be kind for no reason whatsoever, but in the back of my mind, there had to be a reason and of course, i was still sick enough that i could manufacture one. today, i see no cost to being kind and do not offer kindness with a catch. i may not automagically be kind, but more often than not, it is the first act that pops into my head.
today, as i prepare to walk into drama at work, i have to remember that i can add to the angst and turmoil, or i can just be a “worker bee” and just do my job. it is not because of the perks that i choose to work there. i have to admit, they are nice. no, i work there because i have to supplement my income and selling cigars is a job i enjoy. it is true that i could work at Walmart or somewhere else, doing a mindless job and marking my time until work is no longer part of my life. that is an alternative and one that i choose not to exercise today. because of my desire to retain my job and enjoy it, i will need to carry kindness into the shop, not as an afterthought, but as something that is on the top of my list of being. the string i am attaching? none that i can think of. i want to support my manager, but i also want to keep my job, so it is a narrow path that i walk today.
it is time however, to move into this morning and remember that my credo for today is to be kind, whether or not anyone notices. life is short and i do not need to make it any more dramatic than it might already be. just for today, i will listen before i speak and pause before i act. those two things just may make whatever is coming down the pike, tolerable.

∞ DT ∞