๐ต i will not ๐ถ
Posted: Fri, Sep 18, 2026 10:25:49 AM
equate my program of recovery with the circumstances of life on its own terms. in practical terms: just because i am working a program of active recovery on a daily basis, i am far from immune from the speed-bumps and pitfalls of life in the real world. the converse is also true, if my life is full of chaos and events outside of my control, it does not mean that my program is lacking. the test here just happen to be, where is the source of that chaos? if i am doing my daily best to live a program of recovery, it should be easy to detect whether or not i am the source of imbalance and chaos in my life. if i am blaming others, whining about fate, luck and destiny or the injustice of it all, i am probably not working my program to the best of my ability. even with a minute clean, self-will run riot still happens on a very regular basis.
one of the men that call me their sponsor asked me about my beliefs about the “disease” of addiction, after the meeting yesterday. he presented the very logical and rational argument about here being no blood tests or imaging to actually detect addiction. for me, addiction is something i believe is inherent in me and not something that imposed upon me by some outside force, even though there has been no indication of genetic markers that predispose one to being an addict. or at least to date, none have been found. i have not bought into the disease concept for quite some time and when i share, especially here i often say that part of me i call addiction. when i share in meetings i almost never use the word “disease,” but i do not disabuse my peers from using what is plainly stated in the literature, regardless of my opinions on the subject. for me, having a disease removes the responsibility for treating it after all i have active prostate cancer which is going untreated and has been verified as real. that can be removed by surgery or radiation therapy. addiction has no such procedures and i have come to the place in my life where being cured is probably never going to happen. i accept that the part of me i call addiction, is a permanent part of me. how i “got” it is of no concern to me, how i live with it, is!
this is the hill i will die on, but i need not bring it into any argument i have with my peers or sponsor. it simply is part of my world view and hence part of who i am. i can ameliorate the symptoms, work on being a person who sees what effect addiction has on my life and do my best to grow beyond them. life in active recovery is what my daily goal is, today and every day i choose to be clean. fighting the addict or treating a disease is not what i am all about. i am about finding the ways and means to accept that i am an addict, diseased or not and living a life in balance.
one of the men that call me their sponsor asked me about my beliefs about the “disease” of addiction, after the meeting yesterday. he presented the very logical and rational argument about here being no blood tests or imaging to actually detect addiction. for me, addiction is something i believe is inherent in me and not something that imposed upon me by some outside force, even though there has been no indication of genetic markers that predispose one to being an addict. or at least to date, none have been found. i have not bought into the disease concept for quite some time and when i share, especially here i often say that part of me i call addiction. when i share in meetings i almost never use the word “disease,” but i do not disabuse my peers from using what is plainly stated in the literature, regardless of my opinions on the subject. for me, having a disease removes the responsibility for treating it after all i have active prostate cancer which is going untreated and has been verified as real. that can be removed by surgery or radiation therapy. addiction has no such procedures and i have come to the place in my life where being cured is probably never going to happen. i accept that the part of me i call addiction, is a permanent part of me. how i “got” it is of no concern to me, how i live with it, is!
this is the hill i will die on, but i need not bring it into any argument i have with my peers or sponsor. it simply is part of my world view and hence part of who i am. i can ameliorate the symptoms, work on being a person who sees what effect addiction has on my life and do my best to grow beyond them. life in active recovery is what my daily goal is, today and every day i choose to be clean. fighting the addict or treating a disease is not what i am all about. i am about finding the ways and means to accept that i am an addict, diseased or not and living a life in balance.
∞ DT ∞