Blog entry for:

if i am clean today and working my program to the best of my ability, i am a winner!
and so is anyone else who is doing their level best to live the program of recovery that they have been given. i make the change from work to live intentionally, because to work their program is an entirely different matter than to live the program. i have seen many addicts who have "worked" the program, and do not act as winners in any sense of the word, they continue to cling to certain ideas that were put into their heads by well-intentioned but severely misinformed members of the community who believe that they somehow understand addiction and its attendant behaviors and thought patterns. it has been my experience that lasting recovery and the changes wrought by living the suggested program are the only way that this addict can continue to re-enter society as a fully functioning, responsible member. what my counselors told me way back when, while i was in "treatment" was interesting and provided the means for me to start to find a new manner of living. most of them were wrong about what was going on inside of me on so many levels, that i am surprised i did not stumble worse when i was struggling to find recovery. the ones that were closest to being right about who and what i am and was, were those who actually were recovering from the disease of addiction themselves. what does this has to do with being a winner and emulating the behavior of winners? well, for me, it provides one of the many criteria for determining who the winners are. the question i ask myself is has this person accepted that they suffer from the disease of addiction and are they willing to do whatever it takes to stay clean and grow today? you may be amazed by the number of people that i can answer in the affirmative for today, including some members who are very young in recovery. most of the negative answers apply to members who have "been around" the program for ten or more years. and in case you do not understand what been around means, those who use the term may have been exposed to the program of recovery years ago, but have significantly less clean time and even less recovery. they come off as knowing more about the fellowship and recovery by virtue of the length of time they have been exposed to the program, kind of like getting a tan. i can lay in the sun, do nothing and i will get a tan! it is not my experience that i can get recovery basking in the light of those who actually do the work.
enough of a soap box, suffice it to say that when anyone says they have been around or they used to have significant clean time, i cast a jaundiced eye, and would not probably look to them as winners, that is of course, UNLESS i can see evidence that they are looking for and living life in a new manner. can i be a winner today? probably if i let go and let the program work, i am willing to see what i need to do today to stay clean!

∞ DT ∞