โ there is an old expression sometimes heard in the fellowship: โ
Posted: Fri, Jul 13, 2007 08:14:38 AM
i cannot save my face and my ass at the same time.
it is good to be clean today. thinking about humility and asking for help is one of the biggest part of humility in recovery. and one of the things that i have trouble remembering. after all, i have a bit of clean time, and have worked a step or twelve, and the number of issues i have to face on a daily basis is quite minimal. so when one of those days come along when i feel like everything is falling apart, and begin to wonder if it is really worth it, well, i white knuckle it and somehow survive.
the past couple of days have been like that, not really bad, but just a bit off. did i even consider asking for a bit of help by calling my sponsor, or sharing at a meeting? no way! so when this reading popped-up in my JFT book, i went holy cow i could have had....
so yes today is finally the bet day i have had all week. going to Montana and being around my family while they proceeded to have a few beverages set my into a place that i really do not like. dang it all, i deserve to ....
so here i sit at my alma mater, blogging on someone else's credentials and waiting for a court date. the best apart of that is that it is not my court date! i made a commitment to show up and be present, rushed like a mad dog to get over here and now i get to wait. life is like that some days. so off to do a bit of work before i have to shut down and deal with the justice system. it does feel good to be able to meet a responsibility or two and honestly i am in a good place, i may look good today, BUT i also feel good today, and for me that is a wonderful gift!
it is good to be clean today. thinking about humility and asking for help is one of the biggest part of humility in recovery. and one of the things that i have trouble remembering. after all, i have a bit of clean time, and have worked a step or twelve, and the number of issues i have to face on a daily basis is quite minimal. so when one of those days come along when i feel like everything is falling apart, and begin to wonder if it is really worth it, well, i white knuckle it and somehow survive.
the past couple of days have been like that, not really bad, but just a bit off. did i even consider asking for a bit of help by calling my sponsor, or sharing at a meeting? no way! so when this reading popped-up in my JFT book, i went holy cow i could have had....
so yes today is finally the bet day i have had all week. going to Montana and being around my family while they proceeded to have a few beverages set my into a place that i really do not like. dang it all, i deserve to ....
so here i sit at my alma mater, blogging on someone else's credentials and waiting for a court date. the best apart of that is that it is not my court date! i made a commitment to show up and be present, rushed like a mad dog to get over here and now i get to wait. life is like that some days. so off to do a bit of work before i have to shut down and deal with the justice system. it does feel good to be able to meet a responsibility or two and honestly i am in a good place, i may look good today, BUT i also feel good today, and for me that is a wonderful gift!
∞ DT ∞