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in loving care of my peers, as well as myself, seems to be one of those topics that does not take that much to figure out. in fact, unity is something that keeps coming up as i work the 12 traditions, with one of the men who call me their sponsor. the loving care part, well as they say in the Emerald City, that just may be a horse of a different color. it is quite true that i am not overly fond of one or more of my peers in recovery. in my own narrow perspective i have judged them and found them unworthy of me giving them anything, included but not limited to respect, compassion, empathy or the time of day. the source material this morning, drove home how much i have to learn about letting go of what i may think and looking at all of my peers as my equals and worthy of me giving them all that i desire for myself. it is not them who need to manifest change, it is me, and when i come across such a revelation, my first instinct is to whine “BUT…” 😭 😭 😭
as i considered the alternatives to rebelling this morning, what i saw is that each and every peer that i hold in less than an estimable position, costs me a shit ton of personal power and as i have said before i am all about power and it accumulation and use. i have to turn over valuable resources to maintain a level of civility i do not feel, instead of just tolerating who they are and letting go of what i may think of them, regardless of how correct i may be in my estimation of their character. i can love them, without having to like them. i can have compassion and empathy for them when they suffer setbacks, rather than going into the whole “it could not happen to a nicer person,” song and dance. it is truly as simple as that, let go of the crap and walk in the sunlight of the spirit.
it is however, time to get my ass out onto the streets as the day is already heating up. as i trot around the hood, perhaps i can give myself and the world around me a break, by attempting to change judgement into discernment. i know that i will encounter at least on driver today, who does not respect my rights as a pedestrian, but that does not mean i need to degrade myself by flipping them off and trotting off in a huff. i can be a better person than that. i can acknowledge my disappointment about their behavior and not use it to assign a value judgement on who i may think they are. that little exercise will certainly allow me to practice what i need to practice to provides loving care to all my peers in recovery, even those that make my skin crawl just being in the same room as they are, just for today.

∞ DT ∞