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my primary motivation was dictated by my disease; enslaved by my overwhelming need for drugs, my life lacked purpose and connection. not that i have that much more purpose these days, well to say that would be a lie. my life does have a direction and purpose, not one that is easy for me to define. in fact, the longer i stay clean, the less i know about LIFE THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING, and that is how it should be. knowing everything and being solely dependent on myself and the relief getting high provided me back in the day was not necessarily a life with purpose. knowing that my life has a direction and a purpose based on spiritual principles is more than enough these days. so as i sit here smoking a cigar, thinking about the reading, i come to the conclusion that being wired into a spiritual life is not a bad thing. life is certainly easier when i can think about such mundane things as paying my taxes, getting new jobs, and living a program of recovery.
so i would also be lying if i said that material success was not nice. all of the material success that has come my way is a gift of the spiritual life that i have been given. and this way of living is a gift, one of most cherished gifts that have come my way since i finally got clean, accepted that i was an addict and decided to try this whole gig to the best of my ability. so knowing i have a purpose is more important to me than knowing what that purpose is exactly.
life is a gift, material success, spiritual connection, and a new manner of living and all. it is a good day to be clean and a good day to live a program of recovery. so back to the grindstone and get some more work done.

∞ DT ∞