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NOT equal recovery! although these days i do not have to worry about amassing huge sums of money or piles of material possessions. i would be lying if i said that i am some sort of anti-materialistic socialistic hippy, no i would not mind having buckets of money that allowed me to live a lifestyle beyond my wildest drug-fueled dreams. i do feel, however, that my needs are met, i live life in a very comfortable style and now that i have my personal debt paid off, i can start to work on the consumer debt it took to get to that place. even though i buy lottery tickets, and certainly would not mind, hitting pay-dirt with a decently large winning, i do not count on that event happening. i happen to live in the real world, most of the time, regardless of the fantasies that i often have.
here is where i could critique and generally judge the living sh!t out of my peers, who have gained financial success. in times past, i certainly might have goner down this path. this morning, however, that does not interest me in the slightest. in fact what i heard as i sat this morning was to do what is right in front of me and allow what needs to happen, to happen. i have concer5mns about whether or not i will be living on my savings come Friday afternoon and how long it may take to find another job, but instead of giving up and storming off the playing field like some sort of spoiled primadonna, i am going to put my head down, and do my best to keep the job i have.
the other notion that bubbled up from the depth is a sense of gratitude that the fire that was west of me on Thursday and was quickly contained by first responders, was just that, a blip on the radar compared to what happened in Louisville and Superior. my glib responses to concerns of my co-workers shows that i had already dismissed any notion of being under the gun. i had to go back and “own” my part and gratefully thank them for their concern, after all, our home could have easily been on the receiving end of another fiery conflagration. all of that aside, i need to get out and get somne steps under my belt. it is a good day to be clean and a better day to nerd as hard as i can.

∞ DT ∞