∞ today, i believe that my greatest need is for spiritual guidance and strength. ∞
Posted: Sat, Jan 3, 2009 03:57:02 PM
the greatest damage done to me by me addiction was the damage done to my spirituality. so i really meant to write this hours ago, however sometimes my plans and the plan of a HIGHER POWER do not coincide. today this is one of those days. i can whine and moan, and wail and gnash my teeth, but that will accomplish little of what i want to accomplish. so i do believe i will just keep pushing forward and see what i can get done.
so anyhow, back to topic. truthfully i had no spirituality by the time i arrived in recovery. that long, sad story has been told before, and does not need to be repeated. what i have discovered, is that focusing on the process rather than focusing on the outcome, has allowed me to grow spiritually beyond my wildest delusions. so toady, i try and get my ducks in a row for my vacation i am happy to report, that yes, Virginia, i do have a concept of a HIGHER POWER, i do try and align myself to the will of that POWER, and as i progress through my day, i do my best to decide to surrender my will and my life into the care of that POWER. am i perfect at this task yet? not by a long shot! i do not espouse to know what the will of GOD is, at any particular moment, except that the evidence is, that will is for me to stay clean, and stay in recovery. i have others tell me that unequivocally know what that will is, and perhaps they do, and maybe someday i will join them in that certainty. but in the mean time, i am not holding my breath, waiting for that to happen. no i am moving forward, being present for what is going on, inside and outside of me, and adjusting my will to whatever my current understanding of a HIGHER POWER’S will happens to be, as it is revealed.
so farewell my faithful readers, i will not be back again until January 12, 2009, as the will of my HOP seems to be a vacation far away from the electronic space and time continuum called the internet. life is good to allow me to even write this, much less take off for a week of vacation. until that time, stay well, call your sponsor, and be present for whatever life throws at you.
so anyhow, back to topic. truthfully i had no spirituality by the time i arrived in recovery. that long, sad story has been told before, and does not need to be repeated. what i have discovered, is that focusing on the process rather than focusing on the outcome, has allowed me to grow spiritually beyond my wildest delusions. so toady, i try and get my ducks in a row for my vacation i am happy to report, that yes, Virginia, i do have a concept of a HIGHER POWER, i do try and align myself to the will of that POWER, and as i progress through my day, i do my best to decide to surrender my will and my life into the care of that POWER. am i perfect at this task yet? not by a long shot! i do not espouse to know what the will of GOD is, at any particular moment, except that the evidence is, that will is for me to stay clean, and stay in recovery. i have others tell me that unequivocally know what that will is, and perhaps they do, and maybe someday i will join them in that certainty. but in the mean time, i am not holding my breath, waiting for that to happen. no i am moving forward, being present for what is going on, inside and outside of me, and adjusting my will to whatever my current understanding of a HIGHER POWER’S will happens to be, as it is revealed.
so farewell my faithful readers, i will not be back again until January 12, 2009, as the will of my HOP seems to be a vacation far away from the electronic space and time continuum called the internet. life is good to allow me to even write this, much less take off for a week of vacation. until that time, stay well, call your sponsor, and be present for whatever life throws at you.
∞ DT ∞