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but the guidance of my sponsor and complete surrender to a Higher Power. using these resources, i make the best decisions i can, ultimately, however, such decisions are mine. today, i am responsible for my own recovery. yes some decisions are difficult, in fact in early recovery almost every decision i had to make felt difficult, my poor sponsor was talking to me all the time, trying to get me to take responsibility for my decision-making, while i was trying to put that onus on him. these days that is not quite the case, however yesterday i was faced with a decision that i thought i needed guidance on, and asked for his help. i did not hear from him, but i now consider that a blessing rather than a curse, it allowed me to process a rather tough decision through the filter of my HIGHER POWER and my own intuition, and as i am coming to find out, my intuition is more reliable than i want to give it credit for. i am not quite at the point where i i feel confident in trusting it most of the time, but the evidence is starting to accumulate that it is reliable. the process i have started running through is a simple exercise:

• I KNOW WHAT I KNOW
• I KNOW WHAT I FEEL
• AND I KNOW WHAT I BELIEVE

taking that quick inventory, around such a decisions, like the ones i made yesterday, is starting to pay off for me. i am coming to see what this SEVENTH STEP is doing to me. i have yet to figure out HOW i am going to ask to have my shortcomings removed, other than humbly, but i am becoming more comfortable in accepting that i WILL know, and that i do not have to worry about that part of the process right now. so where do i go from here? well, the ironic part is that i just remembered what this set of steps are focused on, the concept of decision-making and how that applies in my life. so each time i run through a major or minor decision, i get to use the step process as it has been revealed to me up to this point.
i guess i am recovering, the evidence of change within in me is piling up way too high to ignore this morning, and as a result i accept the responsibility of my recovery today.

∞ DT ∞