๐ living with ๐
Posted: Mon, Apr 4, 2022 06:16:39 AM
the consequences of my decisions was not something i took to with a whole lot of vigor. in fact, as i had learned in the days that comprised my life in active addiction, assigning blame, scapegoating and finger pointing were much better strategies. when all else failed, there was that old reliable standby of: “what did you expect, after all i am just an addict.” before i get further down that road:
this morning, as i try and figure out how to fit all that i want to do intro a very limited window, i get the sense of maybe i can write just enough to express my point of view. what i really need is the ways and means to get down to the office the fastest way and not have to leave the house at six o'clock AM. today the goal is 6:30 and that may not actually occur, but i can be okay with the decision to write this, instead of jumping in the shower. i can ho9nestly say that i no longer consider attending events where alcohol is served, a big deal. been there, done that and have moved along. i also have had procedures and surgeries that required m ind and mood altering medications and came through with my recovery intact. those experiences have proven to me, that i need to tread lightly and use the resources available to me, as more than once i did “enjoy” the experience. a more pressing issue with me, is my emotional pain and dealing with life on its own terms. there are events coming down the pike that will have the ability to floor me, and i have to make sure i have my tools at hand. with that said, i know that just for today, i have the ways and means to stay clean and live a program of recovery.
Nathan W.,
Congats on a decade (10 years) clean!
this morning, as i try and figure out how to fit all that i want to do intro a very limited window, i get the sense of maybe i can write just enough to express my point of view. what i really need is the ways and means to get down to the office the fastest way and not have to leave the house at six o'clock AM. today the goal is 6:30 and that may not actually occur, but i can be okay with the decision to write this, instead of jumping in the shower. i can ho9nestly say that i no longer consider attending events where alcohol is served, a big deal. been there, done that and have moved along. i also have had procedures and surgeries that required m ind and mood altering medications and came through with my recovery intact. those experiences have proven to me, that i need to tread lightly and use the resources available to me, as more than once i did “enjoy” the experience. a more pressing issue with me, is my emotional pain and dealing with life on its own terms. there are events coming down the pike that will have the ability to floor me, and i have to make sure i have my tools at hand. with that said, i know that just for today, i have the ways and means to stay clean and live a program of recovery.
∞ DT ∞