Blog entry for:

today, i know that preserving my recovery is more important than saving face.
even though i am often obsessed with how i appear, rather than what is going on inside. i do things and go places that are inherently unsafe for my recovery without a care in the world because i have to look good. so far i have had just enough grace and recovery that none of the stupid things i have done, have not created an internal struggle that led to using once more. so the events of the day have reminded me of why i am where i am. i got to visit one of the sponsees who has been struggling with recovery in jail. while there i realized that the only reason i was on the side of the glass i was, is because i have chosen to live a life based on the spiritual principles of recovery. that life has not created the need for the justice system to put me in jail again. i am grateful that today i could go into jail and get out without any hassles, additional money, or even a raised eyebrow.
so anyhow back to the meat of the daily reading which i feel is doing what i need to do, to guard y most valued possession, the gift of recovery. so i spoke about the grace i have been given, that grace has saved my bacon more than once and perhaps the time has come to change my priorities. instead of worrying about how i appear, i need to be more concerned with looking at if i am guarding my recovery with at least as much diligence that i put-in to looking good. yes i have some physical challenges that i am choosing to put myself through, yes i have more than one emotional issue, and all of these are more than enough to say ‘time to go!’
do i want to recover today? yes! do i believe i am worth doing whatever it takes to stay clean today? yes! so with that in mind perhaps it is time to look at what my real priorities are today. is doing something to look good really worth more than doing something to protect my recovery? if i follow the suggestion offered in the reading than the answer is obvious, i just have to make a decision to do what it takes to implement that decision and right now, it is time to do some work. after all responsibility is a spiritual principle and i need to live as many of those principles i can today.

∞ DT ∞