Blog entry for:

my most deeply buried feelings begin to surface, and those resentments i thought i did not have suddenly emerge. the ironic part of this particular topic is that we were speaking about this last evening as we relaxed on the veranda enjoying cigars. yes, i could have been standing in a speaker recovery meeting, and i fully intended to, but after i took my phone call, i was about to return to the meeting but some friends came out, and voila, all of a sudden we were having a mini-meeting out on the steps. so anyhow, what happened was that we were talking about the the steps and i said how amazed i was about some of the things that came out on my last fourth step. i had suppressed memories of some of the unpleasant things i did as part of my life. i am pretty good about remembering resentments, it is however is my less than savory behaviors that i tend to swallow and bury deep in my gut. and it is my gut where i hide most stuff. and of course, across the course of my life i have paid the price for eating feelings, resentments, shame, and stuff i cannot quite deal with now or possibly ever.
so anyhow, one more day suffering with my cold, it is becoming less onerous, and i am certain that i will be even better tomorrow. emotionally, i am in a good spot his morning, i was quite the salesman last night and cleared over $450 for my region, and now that i have one more task -- send back the leftovers -- and then i can focus on what is important, serving my region by participating in the process. spiritually i am at peace this morning, i am certain that i am where i am supposed to be. physically, emotionally, spatially and temporally. it is a good day to recover and serve. so off to the meetingss and the process, after all, as much as i would love to spend hours writing this, i am at the end of my time to do so!

∞ DT ∞