Blog entry for:

one of the things i have learned over the course of my recovery is that i am the most dishonest with myself. lie and cheat myself out of the things that will make me better, because the self-delusion that somehow i am entitled to something. this self-delusion permeates through all of me and prevents me from recognizing the resentments i may be carrying or else tells me that my resentments are justified and worth hanging on to.
another thing that i am certain of is that these days most of my resentments are towards myself. it is not that i have achieved some sort of sainthood but rather i have dealt with a bunch of issues about the people around me and with whom i interact on a daily basis. the issues that cause me to have the most resentments are about me and how i perceive my progress and growth since getting clean. i also know the only way i will be free of both the delusions and resentments is to do the work in front of me and let the process work the way it is supposed to -- LET GO and BE -- just for today!
∞ DT ∞