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my past and seeing it for what it really was, has certainly been a HUGE part of my life, these days. in fact, i grow weary writing about it. what i think is finally happening, is that i am ready to accept i was wronged, forgive the person that wronged me and develop a relationship where i keep a wary eye out for being harmed again, by that person. my version of forgiving without forgetting. it will be a bumpy ride and as i allow myself to allow them back into my life, i will certainly be careful about my emotional reactions to their current set of behaviors. i am confident that they see something going on, but i am also confident that they will not ask, as that is how it has always been in this relationship, at least since i have “grown up.” what once was, can never be restored, but it can be repaired. as i let go of the event and the process it created in me, i can see clearly now that my path forward is one of cautious optimism.
this morning has been a far from ideal start to my day. i woke up fifteen minutes before my alarm, found out that a perfectly good credit card got declined for an automatic billing, tried to sign up for a “required” training class at work, that has no content, and had my printer reject the third party ink cartridges that it has been perfectly happy with for the past month. what i am going to do is:

• add a call to my bank to my already full day of stuff to do
• order “official” ink cartridges with the allegedly bad creative card
• do a digital free work-out
• and wait to see what happen with the training content.

all in all a better way to handle my less than stellar start to my day. with that in mind, i think i will do just that and allow my emotional state to return to one of serenity, wither or not it is unflappable today or not, has yet to be seen.

∞ DT ∞