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i cannot change the world by taking an inventory, but i can change the way i react to it. well before i launch into this topic, i am still waiting for something to pass, although the pressure is gone, and i think eating normally will trip everything back to normal, i am getting a lesson in patience. i am also at the end of this work session, i am hurting so it is time to go lay down and relax for a bit. dang it!
so how does any of this relate to being a rebel without a clue? well for one, i am severely rebelling against my human limitations this morning. i want to be all better and up and doing what i want to do, not limited by the pain and physical changes wrought by surgery. i know i could ignore everything and push myself to live my normal life, but i also realize in the long run, rebelling against what my body is telling me, will lead to a longer recovery process and the consequences would be intolerable to me. so as i write this, i am already planning for my next work session in a couple of hours maybe.
a quick inventory about how i am doing physically is an excellent metaphor for how i am doing spiritually. i pushed myself a bit too hard yesterday and went to a meeting, well i am paying the price for that decision this morning. so i see that i can do what i want to do, rebel against everyone and everything and be miserable, or accept that like my physical well-being, my emotional and spiritual well-being requires some compromise and some acceptance. so today, i think i will stop being such a rebel. accept that there are limits and move on to do the best i can with what i have, a simple and elegant plan. so off to the couch and into the dull numbness of tolerating a bit of pain. it is a good day to recover.

∞ DT ∞