Blog entry for:
Mon, Sep 8, 2014 07:52:51 AM
√ i cannot change the world by taking an inventory, √
posted: Mon, Sep 8, 2014 07:52:51 AM
but i CAN change the way i react to it. having been off the grid a year ago, i had to go back two years to see what seeds i had already used for this topic and low and behold, i stumbled across a very interesting writing. i need not rehash what it said, but it certainly got me thinking about where i was back then and where i am now.
i know for a fact, that i was not very happy, as i had left a very good gig, to take a full-time gig closer to home, only to be let go one day later, as the company had been sold. the whole chain of “if-onlys” was running through my head and i was angry at myself for lowering my standards, and i did, and going somewhere when i had an excellent position in place, temporary as it was, it would have lasted another 9 months. perhaps longer.
today, i have come to a place in my life, where i realized i was believing the hype that the recruiters were feeding me, and was starting to feel undervalued as a result. maybe i am worth more money, but quite honestly i like what i do every day, i like the people i work with, for the most part and i am not starving by any means. my dissatisfaction with where i am in my life, is a result of, <drum roll, please> unmet expectations! in my last few inventories i have come across that theme, time and again, and i am not rebelling against my faceless employers from New York, New York, i am rebelling against the limitations i have placed on myself, by not stretching my wings and growing my skills and knowledge, professionally. i am the limiting factor here and it just may be time to remove that from the equation by finishing my volunteer project.
on that note, i do believe i will move into this day, after all, if i do my job, i will learn what i need to learn today. if i pay attention, i might get an opportunity to be more and if i conquer my FEAR with a bit of courage, i might be able to grow the skills that i already think i have.
i know for a fact, that i was not very happy, as i had left a very good gig, to take a full-time gig closer to home, only to be let go one day later, as the company had been sold. the whole chain of “if-onlys” was running through my head and i was angry at myself for lowering my standards, and i did, and going somewhere when i had an excellent position in place, temporary as it was, it would have lasted another 9 months. perhaps longer.
today, i have come to a place in my life, where i realized i was believing the hype that the recruiters were feeding me, and was starting to feel undervalued as a result. maybe i am worth more money, but quite honestly i like what i do every day, i like the people i work with, for the most part and i am not starving by any means. my dissatisfaction with where i am in my life, is a result of, <drum roll, please> unmet expectations! in my last few inventories i have come across that theme, time and again, and i am not rebelling against my faceless employers from New York, New York, i am rebelling against the limitations i have placed on myself, by not stretching my wings and growing my skills and knowledge, professionally. i am the limiting factor here and it just may be time to remove that from the equation by finishing my volunteer project.
on that note, i do believe i will move into this day, after all, if i do my job, i will learn what i need to learn today. if i pay attention, i might get an opportunity to be more and if i conquer my FEAR with a bit of courage, i might be able to grow the skills that i already think i have.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
a rebel without a clue (or maybe one) 286 words ➥ Wednesday, September 8, 2004 by: donnot∞ i have lived my entire life in revolt. ∞ 394 words ➥ Friday, September 8, 2006 by: donnot
α i can ask myself if my rebellion against people, places, and institutions is justified. ω 597 words ➥ Saturday, September 8, 2007 by: donnot
μ the inventory process allows me to uncover, evaluate, and alter my rebellious patterns μ 355 words ➥ Monday, September 8, 2008 by: donnot
§ my initial response to any type of direction is often negative § 659 words ➥ Tuesday, September 8, 2009 by: donnot
¥ i need not lose FAITH when i become rebellious ¥ 745 words ➥ Wednesday, September 8, 2010 by: donnot
½ in the inventory process, i discover what others did to me ½ 555 words ➥ Thursday, September 8, 2011 by: donnot
Γ if i truly desire freedom from the turmoil of rebelliousness Γ 512 words ➥ Saturday, September 8, 2012 by: donnot
⊆ REBELLION ⊇ 755 words ➥ Tuesday, September 8, 2015 by: donnot
😱 automatic 😱 364 words ➥ Thursday, September 8, 2016 by: donnot
✺ am i prone ✺ 489 words ➥ Friday, September 8, 2017 by: donnot
🙃 seeking the patterns 🙄 396 words ➥ Saturday, September 8, 2018 by: donnot
👮 freedom from 👮 639 words ➥ Sunday, September 8, 2019 by: donnot
🤞 risking rejection 🤡 379 words ➥ Tuesday, September 8, 2020 by: donnot
🔥 uncover, 🔥 508 words ➥ Wednesday, September 8, 2021 by: donnot
😎 the turmoil 😎 489 words ➥ Thursday, September 8, 2022 by: donnot
🌊 gratitude 🌠 627 words ➥ Friday, September 8, 2023 by: donnot
😵 a happy by-product, 😵 424 words ➥ Sunday, September 8, 2024 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 2
4) Gentleness is sure to be victorious even in battle, and firmly
to maintain its ground. Heaven will save its possessor, by his (very)
gentleness protecting him.