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a pleasant surprise, an unintended consequence. what, is, one may ask, well according to the source material this morning, carrying the message fills me with gratitude that could be described by all of the preceding states of being. i kind of feel a bit gypped this morning, as what the material was all about, did not match my expectations. it felt like a bait and switch, i was all ready to go down the path of a gratitude list and instead i had to consider which came first, my gratitude or my desire to carry the message.
i can say, i attempted to carry a message to the still suffering long before i felt any sort of gratitude for what i was getting as a result of staying clean and learning how to live a program of recovery. i was not very good at it, and if not for those who assisted me in those early Twelfth Step calls. yes, back in those early days of my recovery, we actually still went on Twelve Step calls, and i did my share of them. today, i am hardly the first guy to rush up to a FNG and 12 stomp him, but i am certainly one of those who can and does tailor what he shares to the room. i remember how hard it was for me to understand the “jargon” of recovery, back in the day and i certainly would no have known a spiritual principle, even if i tripped over it. for me, carrying the message means to use specific and concrete examples of what was, what happened and what is in the here and now. those other notions? well they are part of my experience but i am a firm believer that simpler is better when it comes to carrying a message.
i can say, without a doubt, that watching others come in, get clean and stick around long enough for a bit of “recovery” to take, did plant the seed of gratitude in the heart of this addict. it may not have always blossomed into something greater, but it has never stopped growing and when i carry a message to the still suffering addict, i know it is my gratitude that is peaking, when i get my head out of the way. so it is off for cigars and football on this second Sunday in September. it is a great day to be grateful for what i have. 😁

∞ DT ∞