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...stories of my bizarre reactions to life may be interesting. HOWEVER, they tend to carry the mess more than the message. although there are times when such tales from the dark side are one way to break the barriers between and those who are brand new to recovery. so there are more than a couple ways for me to go with this topic today. enumerating them, would take some words and distract from writing down any path, so i will just jump in and see where this goes.
yes, i can share like a traditionalist or ‘NAZI,’ as the girlfriend of a grand-sponsee is fond of calling me, and it is true, that my message would be ‘PURE.’ i do go through phases where all i share is the message, and what is in front of me today. there are times when i want to slap someone around because of how they share. a case in point, last night, that same grand-sponsee was giving advice from on top of his high horse about what ‘YOU NEED TO DO TO FIND RECOVERY!’
YARGHHH, was i ready to go off, and would have, however the POWER that keeps me clean had a different path in mind for me. i got waylaid by another member seeking my EXPERIENCE, STRENGTH and HOPE on a related topic and by the time we finished our discussion, my rage and the object of that rage were both gone.
be that as it may, what that brings me back to is, that when i share i need to present a bit of the mess, especially in the places i a, carrying the message these days. for reasons way beyond my understanding i find myself inside institutions these days in more than a few different ways. what i find is that i am becoming much more tolerant of the faux-pas committed by those attendees who do not know any better, and much less tolerant of those who have some time and should know better. so what that brings me back to, and the point of the reading this morning, is that it is up to ME, to share the message of recovery, especially since my path has carried me behind locked doors. so with the thought to exercise my responsibility, grow some more patience, and practice a bit of tolerance, the next time i feel the rage growing, i think i will hit the streets and get a bit of physical release. it is after all, yet another day of recovery, and giving anyone power over my feelings and thoughts is not part of my plan anymore today.

∞ DT ∞