Some memes

...they are the program! to get the most from my recovery i must work the Twelve Steps for myself. okay, i have seen many members stay clean for extended periods without ever working a single step with a sponsor. i have also seen members who were working steps relapse, however they are fewer than the relapses i have seen from members that were just going to meetings. for me, it is a mystery, how someone can stay clean just by going to meetings, as i have found that course of action is not sufficient for me. even with the constant reminders of how bad it is out there, as demonstrated by the parade of newcomers and their desperate pleas for help, i start to get more than a little insane if i do not work steps, with the guidance of a sponsor. so when this reading or similar ones come along in the annual cycle, i feel like this preaching to the choir. as a result i need to dig deep to come up with something to write about.
that is, except for this morning. what struck me was a sense of gratitude, that i am one of the fortunate ones. fortunate because i was desperate and have remained desperate enough across the course of my recovery to include step work as part of living clean. oh yes, it would be so nice, to just sit still and stew, and i have periods of my recovery where i have done just that. i have even done the self-sponsorship gig, and the results were far from pleasing or even satisfactory to me. ideas like, it might be a good idea to visit a using friend in New York city, sound not only good, but actually stellar. i am grateful for the experience of sitting still, because it taught me that the pain of doing is always less than the pain of not doing and if i want to recover, i NEED to be an active participant in all phases of my recovery program, step work, meeting attendance, service to the fellowship etc. just as i am a multifaceted person, so is the program of recovery i have been taught to follow and apply in my life. if i desire to live in a one dimensional world, then meetings will be sufficient for me. sufficient, is like just getting by for me, and these days i have a desire to thrive, rather than just survive. for me to thrive, it is necessary to work steps, with a sponsor, and be present for the results in my life.
so anyhow, it is a good day to recover, and to have a day off from running -- after all, the snow and ice will be gone soon enough, just not now. so into the showers i go, with this thought

Happy 14th Clean Date Anniversary,
Ty P!

∞ DT ∞