ฮฑ i want everything my personal program has to offer ฮฉ
Posted: Fri, Mar 10, 2006 06:28:10 AM
well i thought i had a few extra minutes this morning to enjoy a bit of all this leisure i was supposed to have, but looking at my calendar i see that is not the case. what i felt as i read the just for today reading today was a sense of gratitude and a greater sense of need. gratitude because i have been guided down a path in recovery that requires constant, continuous maintenance and tinkering, which means i seem to always be working on something. i have been led to embrace a culture of service to the fellowship that gave me this new life and i i was thrust into the meat of the twelfth step at six months clean when i was a sponsor for the very first time. so my path in recovery has always been deeply involved in action.
the whole problem with that approach is very often i lose sight of the fact that i do have a life outside the rooms and more goes on inside of me on a day-to-day basis then i address. balance is hardly an easy thing for me to achieve and because i make living my program my first priority, i often shortchange myself with regards to everything else that is or could be happening in my life. i do not believe that i was given the gift of recovery only to hide it within the fellowship. nor do i believe that i do myself and my fellowship a disservice by not participating in the life my program has given me. something my sponsor said last week when i was whining about life without a fulltime job still echoes in my head, "you have been preparing for this day for eight and a half years." and you know what, he is right. i have prepared myself to live and be a part of my life, as well as be a part of the fellowship , work the steps, being present for my sponsees, and meeting the responsibilities of my modern adult life. so for me today, i see the reading seems to tell me to use what i have been given and carry my personal program of recovery out into the real world. after all living the program is part of my personal program today!
the whole problem with that approach is very often i lose sight of the fact that i do have a life outside the rooms and more goes on inside of me on a day-to-day basis then i address. balance is hardly an easy thing for me to achieve and because i make living my program my first priority, i often shortchange myself with regards to everything else that is or could be happening in my life. i do not believe that i was given the gift of recovery only to hide it within the fellowship. nor do i believe that i do myself and my fellowship a disservice by not participating in the life my program has given me. something my sponsor said last week when i was whining about life without a fulltime job still echoes in my head, "you have been preparing for this day for eight and a half years." and you know what, he is right. i have prepared myself to live and be a part of my life, as well as be a part of the fellowship , work the steps, being present for my sponsees, and meeting the responsibilities of my modern adult life. so for me today, i see the reading seems to tell me to use what i have been given and carry my personal program of recovery out into the real world. after all living the program is part of my personal program today!
∞ DT ∞