Blog entry for:

both of these states of mind seem to come to me when i least strive for them. this morning i am way off my mark, at least in the respect to my morning schedule. there were fires, there was sleeping in, and there was stuff left over from yesterday, so now as i sit here and let the coffee wash out of my system, thinking about happiness, i can say that right now, after taking a moment to breathe and relax, i am quite satisfied and content. using the definition above it would imply that i am happy. does that mean my life is just perfect? well that is not part of my definition of happiness. as mu=ch as i would like everything to go my way, and have all the bucks in the world, and have everyone like me, all of that does not lead to true happiness, or does it?
one could argue, and often does that happiness, while not dependent on external things and events, is fostered when they occur. one would be correct, except that i find that all of those things are never enough. i am not wired like the so-called normal world, and obtaining all of that, would only make me want more and more, and the hamster wheel that is the part of me i call my addiction would continue to spin.
so this morning, as trying and out of sync as it is, i find a bit of gratitude that i have a manner of living that allows me to focus on my true source of happiness, the feeling that comes from within as i see that my needs are being met, and i have another day to get out in the real world and learn something new. i know my step work is coming to a climax, as i have finally nailed it down, so i no longer feel the need to phone it in. i know professionally i am growing by leaps and bounds, as my work is finding its home all over the place. i know spiritually i am growing, as my sponsees are desiring to enhance their relationship with me. and i know i am being of service, because each day i accept the opportunity to carry the message to the addict who still suffers.
so now that i have had a minute, it is time to suit up and hit the streets -- after all -- happiness also comes from taking care of my physical needs as well!

∞ DT ∞