โ i was spiritually bankrupt and totally isolated. little did i realize โฆ
Posted: Wed, Apr 22, 2009 09:47:40 AM
...as i began my program of recovery, i was stepping onto a road of unlimited possibilities. although this morning, it feels like i have no future what so ever. i have way too much work to do, and far to many demands on my time over the 5 days or so, and i am feeling a bit overwhelmed.
as i think on that last statement, the thought strikes me, that man what a luxury bitch that is. IF i had not started on this journey, and continues to do what was suggested i would not have any work, nor would i own a house, or a car, or even consider taking time out to run, or write this on a daily basis. being overwhelmed is a result of my life getting fuller, and as i ponder this, i am starting to get a bit of gratitude for having this life. i know that my actions, namely doing the footwork as i listen for the will of my HIGHER POWER, allowed me to have this life. i also know that my actions if i choose to listen to self-will can take all of this away in the time it takes for the substance to travel to my brain, and kick off the old patterns of obsession and compulsion. so even though form my perspective, right here and right now, things look well not bleak, but not quite to my liking, i know that they are what they are. the problems i am facing can be eliminated with a bit of hard-work, diligence and perseverance. the feelings i am feeling, will pass, if i allow them to, and i can continue my journey, and accept that it is not always smooth sailing. so off to the streets and into the real world.
as i think on that last statement, the thought strikes me, that man what a luxury bitch that is. IF i had not started on this journey, and continues to do what was suggested i would not have any work, nor would i own a house, or a car, or even consider taking time out to run, or write this on a daily basis. being overwhelmed is a result of my life getting fuller, and as i ponder this, i am starting to get a bit of gratitude for having this life. i know that my actions, namely doing the footwork as i listen for the will of my HIGHER POWER, allowed me to have this life. i also know that my actions if i choose to listen to self-will can take all of this away in the time it takes for the substance to travel to my brain, and kick off the old patterns of obsession and compulsion. so even though form my perspective, right here and right now, things look well not bleak, but not quite to my liking, i know that they are what they are. the problems i am facing can be eliminated with a bit of hard-work, diligence and perseverance. the feelings i am feeling, will pass, if i allow them to, and i can continue my journey, and accept that it is not always smooth sailing. so off to the streets and into the real world.
∞ DT ∞