Blog entry for:

this is one of the readings that always takes me back to my first visit to a meeting. i know that the welcome i got there was one of the many excuses i used to keep on using. i was not ready for recovery on that thursday night in february and the lack of warmth (or my perception of it) was part of the reason i did not get clean until september. honestly, as i now look back at it, i was pissed-off at even thinking about wasting my time at such a freak show and was only doing it to placate my counselor in IOP and my probation officer. in others words i was being compliant and not actually seeking anything but a reprieve from the oppressive nature of the sentence i got from my trip through the justice system and was not really seeking a recovery because i did not believe my problem was addiction, i believed my problem was the heavy hand of the justice system and the sooner i could con them into letting me go back to my old life the better off i would be!
my how i have changed. because of that experience, i go out of my way to welcome newcomers to the meetings i attend and listen to what they want to share with me. do i do this without fail every time i am at a meeting? well..... NO, but i am much better at it then i was before. and for me that is enough today.
PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION!
∞ DT ∞