โ i am very grateful to have come to believe โ
Posted: Mon, Jan 10, 2011 09:15:32 AM
well, my snow removal process is done, now i can gratefully wait for solar energy to do the rest. the reading this morning spoke of gratitude, and one of the things i am grateful for this morning is the person with whom i share my life. it is our anniversary, and if it was not for recovery and the changes that the process created within me, this would not have been possible. it has been 8 years since we first got together and although that seems like a long time, it feels like just yesterday, i was alone, with little HOPE for ever finding someone to love me, just the way i was, or i am.
if i was to do a gratitude list, this morning that would be on the top. what i feel this morning, more than anything else is HOPE. HOPE that i can keep doing this gig. HOPE that as i grow, so will my ability to be more dawg-like: loving without conditions, forgiving without limits. yes, as an addict i want more and more, and it is a good thing that what i want more and more of, is the growth i have found in recovery.
i just declined a trusted servant position, that there is a need for, but i do not have the resources available to fulfill to the best of my ability. what coming to believe means to mean today, is that i do have direction in my life, and i am grateful that in some cases i can actually listen to that direction and follow it. there is in my heart a deep love for the fellowship that has given me the ability to do so, and there is a debt to that fellowship that i gratefully pay back, each and every day. that means that sometimes, there is a different direction i need to follow, than one that puts me in the spotlight.
it is an interesting day, and i am grateful that i have the desire too take care of myself this morning. i have an appointment to see my acupuncture doc, and she will help me correct the damage of glacier and as well snow removal. there was a time, where the minor annoyance of back pain, would have sent me to the emergency room. these days, it send me to alternate means such as taking it easy, massage, tramheel, acupuncture and at finally to over-the-counter pain medications. yes it means that i have to live with pain longer, BUT it also means that in the long run i GET to be healthier and i GET to really learn how to take care of myself.
anyway, the morning has got away from me, and i NEED to get ready to slide down to Louisville. it is a great day to be in recovery and do whatever takes to stay clean and GROW just one more day.
if i was to do a gratitude list, this morning that would be on the top. what i feel this morning, more than anything else is HOPE. HOPE that i can keep doing this gig. HOPE that as i grow, so will my ability to be more dawg-like: loving without conditions, forgiving without limits. yes, as an addict i want more and more, and it is a good thing that what i want more and more of, is the growth i have found in recovery.
i just declined a trusted servant position, that there is a need for, but i do not have the resources available to fulfill to the best of my ability. what coming to believe means to mean today, is that i do have direction in my life, and i am grateful that in some cases i can actually listen to that direction and follow it. there is in my heart a deep love for the fellowship that has given me the ability to do so, and there is a debt to that fellowship that i gratefully pay back, each and every day. that means that sometimes, there is a different direction i need to follow, than one that puts me in the spotlight.
it is an interesting day, and i am grateful that i have the desire too take care of myself this morning. i have an appointment to see my acupuncture doc, and she will help me correct the damage of glacier and as well snow removal. there was a time, where the minor annoyance of back pain, would have sent me to the emergency room. these days, it send me to alternate means such as taking it easy, massage, tramheel, acupuncture and at finally to over-the-counter pain medications. yes it means that i have to live with pain longer, BUT it also means that in the long run i GET to be healthier and i GET to really learn how to take care of myself.
anyway, the morning has got away from me, and i NEED to get ready to slide down to Louisville. it is a great day to be in recovery and do whatever takes to stay clean and GROW just one more day.
∞ DT ∞