โ relapse and my recovery โ
Posted: Thu, Mar 3, 2005 05:58:28 AM
hit the ground running when i got to work this morning and still trying to catch-up. chaos has been spinning around me all week and i am still waiting to share my first step writing.
OVERWHELMING -- YES
WORTH USING OVER -- NO BY A LONG SHOT!
i do understand that relapse for me is always an option, and the reading this morning did not say that it was not. what it said to me is that relapse does not have to happen, if i choose to think through the entire decision to use and see where i will end up -- DEAD -- definintely spiritually, probably emotionally and quite possibly physically. are these really what i want today? NOT AT ALL!
yes some days it would feel better to be numb and not have to practice spiritual principles. and yes some days it would seem better to ignore my less than spiritual behaviors and just say WHATEVER!
but...
... the price i pay to continue to recieve the gift of freedom from active addiction is doing the next right thing, praying, practcing a spiritual principle or two, cleaning up the messes i make and FEELING the full range of my emotions... a very small price for all that i have recieved from recovery and the gifts yet to come.
so just for today i have decided not to use!
∞ DT ∞
OVERWHELMING -- YES
WORTH USING OVER -- NO BY A LONG SHOT!
i do understand that relapse for me is always an option, and the reading this morning did not say that it was not. what it said to me is that relapse does not have to happen, if i choose to think through the entire decision to use and see where i will end up -- DEAD -- definintely spiritually, probably emotionally and quite possibly physically. are these really what i want today? NOT AT ALL!
yes some days it would feel better to be numb and not have to practice spiritual principles. and yes some days it would seem better to ignore my less than spiritual behaviors and just say WHATEVER!
but...
... the price i pay to continue to recieve the gift of freedom from active addiction is doing the next right thing, praying, practcing a spiritual principle or two, cleaning up the messes i make and FEELING the full range of my emotions... a very small price for all that i have recieved from recovery and the gifts yet to come.
so just for today i have decided not to use!
∞ DT ∞