Blog entry for:

is far from an apt description of my life today. i also know that IF i choose a path that includes dipping into the substance pool for a brief respite from recovery, the connections i have built with my friends, family members, peers and the POWER that fuels my recovery will quickly fade. ¯\_(?)_/¯ it may not happen all at once, but i am certain that as an addict, once i partake, the chances of me continuing my recovery journey. quickly sink to practically nil. that is far from a disturbing realization, in my experience i have seen that play out too many times to disregard the message of those who found their way back.
yesterday, i had to give an addict a reality check and remind them of who had the power in this situation. today they are playing a passive-aggressive game and i really do not care, if they choose to play, they will lose and lose big. they have mistaken kindness and respect for license and now they are holding a losing hand. for me, dealing with someone who will not take responsibility for their life and live a life in which they are the victim, is difficult, as that was me, when i came to recovery. more than likely in less than a few weeks, their “home” will be sold out from under them and for sure in five weeks. that “home” will be emptied. depending on the desires of the buyer, i will authorize the buyer to start work as soon as they have the desire to do, after closing, giving them access to the house, as needed to develop their plans for what they are doing after they take possession. my next interaction, face to face with them will be tomorrow and i know they have a letter they want me to read, which i am sure is one long sad sob story about how they have given, how no one helped and why they are entitled to a cut for the estate of my Mom. whether i choose to read their missive or not, will be a decision i make tomorrow.
moving into the here and now, i am far from content with the progress i have made on my Mom's estate. what that means is that only one cigar is in my future and home to catch-up on the estate after a brief decompression from real life. not that i am going to use, but i need a break so i do not react to a something that comes down the pike that is not to my liking.

∞ DT ∞