๐ค interdependence ๐ค
Posted: Fri, Mar 3, 2023 06:54:09 AM
and the primary purpose of the fellowship that i have made my home is a topic i almost skipped over and went back to my old source for inspiration. to me, this topic asks the question of whether or not i play well with my peers in recovery. of course the answer to that is: of course i do, nothing to see here, move along! 🤭
the REAL answer is most of the time i do, BUT and yes it is a big one, there are times when i certainly do not. as a human being with the tendency to form very strong opinions that i believe are 100% totally correct, 100% of the time, i can often fall into then trap of getting into conflicts with my peers, when they do not see things the same way i do. i KNOW, after all my time in recovery, certain things need to be done a certain way and when i get backed into a corner, my ability and desire to soften my stance and compromise, is severely diminished. it has been a minute since i arrived at this spot, and when i do, i know that it is my job to cease fighting, allow a group conscience to become reality. in the end, it may also mean that i end up walking away from that group or service body, because of my issues with the personalities that are there. been there, done that, and certainly have more than one T-shirt.
after a minute to contemplate and see if anything else is bubbling up to pop off the stack, i see that on this topic, there is no more. checking the rest of what i feel this morning, i am feeling more secure about my current job, as they are starting to trust me a bit more than before and certainly are assigning me new tasks on a daily basis. perhaps i am growing into a better fit for this team and might be able to make a stand here for a few more years, i did find one more bug in my code that i will have to address after i get back from my workout, it is the exact opposite of what my lead found, but i am fairly certain i know what is going on and it is a one line fix. so it is off to the cool Colorado morning for some miles and some steps, as i get ready to face this Friday and gratefully attempt to live a full life in active recovery, just for today.
the REAL answer is most of the time i do, BUT and yes it is a big one, there are times when i certainly do not. as a human being with the tendency to form very strong opinions that i believe are 100% totally correct, 100% of the time, i can often fall into then trap of getting into conflicts with my peers, when they do not see things the same way i do. i KNOW, after all my time in recovery, certain things need to be done a certain way and when i get backed into a corner, my ability and desire to soften my stance and compromise, is severely diminished. it has been a minute since i arrived at this spot, and when i do, i know that it is my job to cease fighting, allow a group conscience to become reality. in the end, it may also mean that i end up walking away from that group or service body, because of my issues with the personalities that are there. been there, done that, and certainly have more than one T-shirt.
after a minute to contemplate and see if anything else is bubbling up to pop off the stack, i see that on this topic, there is no more. checking the rest of what i feel this morning, i am feeling more secure about my current job, as they are starting to trust me a bit more than before and certainly are assigning me new tasks on a daily basis. perhaps i am growing into a better fit for this team and might be able to make a stand here for a few more years, i did find one more bug in my code that i will have to address after i get back from my workout, it is the exact opposite of what my lead found, but i am fairly certain i know what is going on and it is a one line fix. so it is off to the cool Colorado morning for some miles and some steps, as i get ready to face this Friday and gratefully attempt to live a full life in active recovery, just for today.
∞ DT ∞