Blog entry for:

he is not trash can designed for me to dump my garbage in, although i often forget that. what a weekend, i had to grow up a bit and i have to clean-up a small mess that i discovered as part of my daily inventory as a result. i really guess this is a learning process, as much as i think i have some of this stuff down pat. NO EXCUSES!
thinking about my sponse, a realize i have not called him in several weeks. i can say i was way too busy, and that would not be an exaggeration. i could say, there are no big deals going on, and that is also the truth. what i see in those statements are rationalizations, i tell myself to assuage my guilty conscience. i owe him a call, just to see how he is doing!
whenever i catch myself, trying to rationalize and justify, i need to step back and be concerned about what is going on. in this case, self-centered, quickly jumps to mind. i have not NEEDED to call my sponsor, so i have not. which sounds so much like my brand new sponsee, who once again is staring his clean time over again. speaking to him the other day, i heard the exact same words, and while i am not in the aftermath of my first use again, there really is not much difference. man what a slap in the face!
as i go through today, i will be reminded that the man who i call my sponsor does deserve a call and my time, and when i do my 10th step tonight, hopefully that task will not still be left undone. it is a good day to be cl,ean and it is a good day to do whatever it atkes to recover,

∞ DT ∞