Blog entry for:

service, and the Seventh Tradition. i have to admit, that after almost a year of using this source material, there are times when i feel it gets a bit preachy, especially when it ties personal recovery back to the traditions. today just happens to be one of those days. i understand the sentiment behind what the material is trying to say that if i choose to participate in service to my fellowship, i go a long way to helping to support our effort to carry the message to the still suffering addict, even if that addict happens to be me. i also get that just as i had to learn to be a part of my own recovery and take responsibility to maintain and grow it, i have to take the part in forming the conscience of my home group and the local service bodies. i could go on and on and on and on, as the reading seemed to do, IMHO, but i have to move on and get some other stuff committed to bits and bytes, this morning.
i woke up in the middle of night last night, thinking about my Mom and my responsibilities. i know that some time before i take off to Africa i have to figure out how to take over her finances and that may take a call to her lawyer, to get that ball roiling. i also know that as it currently stands she cannot remain in her home, unless she makes a miraculous recovery in the next forty-eight hours, and if things do not taken care of today, i may have to step in and do some work tomorrow. i have FAITH in my niece, but my time to be of support is quite short as in less than six days i will be off to an adventure of a life time and i cannot leave things hanging in limbo as i enter radio silence and my brother does not seem eager to step up and take the reigns, but my sister does. i will allow things to play out as they will and allow myself the freedom to trust what my gut has been telling me,. that everything is going to be alright and i will be bale to make this journey.
what i also have going on, is a bit of anger at the recruiter who called me yesterday afternoon and ended up dropping me off at the garden gate, because their company does business with my manager. i have to let go of that as well. i did not have anything in the pipeline from them and now nothing new will be coming my way from that direction. that is okay, as i have a job that pays me well. i have a program of recovery that provides me the ways and means to get what i need. i have some dignity, self-respect and self-esteem and i have direction in my life, all of which was sorely lacking, not all that long ago. just for today, i will breathe, let go and allow the day to happen as it will.

∞ DT ∞