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and it will surely crumble if i get too busy with everything else. up early again this morning and am thinking of getting in the shower and finishing this at work. in fact that is what i am going to do.
now that i have made it to work, and i have a few minutes while everything does what it needs to do, i can write this and have a few minutes to ponder what it really means to me today. of course, the event i was waiting for to complete is done and my machine is requiring my attention, but that can wait.
the real question for me anyhow, is am i willing to sacrifice all that i have been given, because the basics of my recovery take too much time? at the meeting last night, i got to hear some addicts share about this issue directly. what i heard was that they were struggling and about to use, or actually using, and it all seemed to boil down to them having the gift of life. or better put, the gift of this new life. sh!t fire, i have no time to spend on myself lately, but i still make the time to do the stuff i have always done. yes, more than once i have found myself playing with the games on my phone during a meeting, because what i though was going to be shared was trite and trivial. yes i have found myself angry and seething with resentment, because someone took, in my not so humble opinion, the meeting hostage and would not release me. yes i have times in my recovery, where the whole thing seemed such a fVcking waste of time, that i wondered why i bothered, and yet, i muddled through, because i knew what happened to people like me, who got too busy with their lives to do the recovery basics. the basics keep me sane and connected. the basics are what are allowing me to become a person i never dreamed i could be. and it is the basics that allow me to even consider being too busy to skip the basics. anyhow time to fly as everyone is demanding a piece of me right now.

∞ DT ∞