Blog entry for:

to a newcomer i am trying to help. although i wonder, on days like these, do they really want what i am giving? so as the shorter days continue to affect m,e, i am getting to a place where this feels like my new normal. i want to break free from the the ennui and darkness that i am facing, and yet i know intellectuality that in less than a month, this will be all over. spiritually i am coming to that same place, however emotionally, well that feels like a whole different thang. needless to say, but i will say it anyhow, with the oppression of the season upon me, what do i have to offer anyone else. i do have a FNG that recently asked me to sponsor him, and have yet to scare him off. i do have men i have been sponsoring for a while, who still keep coming back. and when i share, no one gets up to go to the bathroom or have a smoke, so i am moire than likely being hypercritical about what i am sharing and to whom.
as this day goes by, i have a boatload of stuff to accomplish and it may just end up that i have to skip my service commitment to get it done today. what i will not skip[ is the meeting i have scheduled with my newest sponsee, as he probably has writing to go over, based on my experience with him to date. even though i do not want to, i am willing to do whatever commitments i have made today, at least as far as what others are expecting. what i am expecting of myself is to fly through all of what i have on my plate and accomplish everything, flawlessly and with a style that leaves me some time to watch some football today as well.
what will happen? well if i do not wrap this up now, i will be out of time when 6:15 rolls around and i have to head on over to Brighton, so as grateful for what was so freely given to me, i will do my best to return to the fellowship at large, by serving those who have a greater need. just for today.

∞ DT ∞