Blog entry for:

well here i am pondering if there is anything i need to surrender today. although this usually is a slam dunk answer -- OF COURSE. today however, there are a number of things rolling around my noggin. over the past twenty four hours i have gone from one extreme to another emotionally. i started off the day yesterday in a feeling connected and a part of humanity and ended the day wondering if i was doing any good at all, and if i needed to make some major changes in my life. well this morning i am once again okay, but still wondering what is up with me, the world around me and the people i love. although my morning meditation provided no clues, i do that i need to surrender my will into the care of my Higher Power. i do need to surrender to the fact that i am powerless over what other people are feeling. and that i need to surrender to the process of committing myself to moving forward with me life.
what exactly any of that looks like today, is beyond my comprehension at this moment. that does not lessen my resolve to do what i can, it just means i have to step carefully.
my life feels like a minefield right now. i had a map, so i could miss the mines but now the map i had is no good. everything has moved and i am afraid to take a step in any direction, so i sit here and twist waiting for a clue as to what the next right thing just may be.
so most of all i have to surrender to the fact that what i think i know may or may not be valid. let go of whatever preconceptions i may be carrying about the lay of the land. and allow something more to guide me through this part of my life. stepping off the brink of FAITH is always difficult for me but today it feels right, at least right now.
∞ DT ∞