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ฯ‡ moving toward freedom from guilt ฯ‡

Posted: Mon, Aug 1, 2005 05:46:29 AM

letting go and letting the process work, seems to be my current mode. today, right here, right now i am not suffering from excessive guilt about anything. yes, i have tons of work that is way past due, but i am moving forward with doing the next right thing and will accomplish ths catch-up over the next week.
what is really on my mind is the procedure i am having tomorrow. after what i have been through the past ten months or so, having the GI doc look at what is going on inside of me takes on a whole new meaning. he will probably not find anything once again, which is a good thing. i will sleep off the effects of the procedure all day tomorrow and go to a meeting tomorrow night, as if nothing of consequence has happened.
the truth however is a bit different. there are times i actually look forward to having this procedure done, since my body does not know the difference between medication used by a doctor and drugs i take to doctor myself. so i will be walking a fine line tomorrow morning. my sponsor has suggested that i pray to ‘ NOT enjoy the experience ’ and i do believe i will follow that simple suggestion and let GOD take care of the rest. after all, I am not the one in charge here, i will get my rides to and from the doctor‘s office, and i will not drive my car tomorrow afternoon, just like i am supposed to do and do my best to allow the experience to be what it will be and not the start of a relapse.
∞ DT ∞

Another Look

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Tao Te Ching

☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯

The Tao Teh King, or The Tao and Its Characteristics
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge

Book 2

3) Thus it is that dignity finds its (firm) root in its (previous)
meanness, and what is lofty finds its stability in the lowness (from
which it rises). Hence princes and kings call themselves 'Orphans,'
'Men of small virtue,' and as 'Carriages without a nave.' Is not this
an acknowledgment that in their considering themselves mean they see
the foundation of their dignity? So it is that in the enumeration
of the different parts of a carriage we do not come on what makes
it answer the ends of a carriage. They do not wish to show themselves
elegant-looking as jade, but (prefer) to be coarse-looking as an (ordinary)
stone.