Blog entry for:

without living in the haze of active addiction was something i never thought i would attain. when i using, little drop of poison and BOOM the guilt was removed. when that did not work, denial, rationalization and justification, provided a viable alternative. these days, when i feel guilty, i can take an inventory and see what is at the root of that feeling. most of the time, it is the damage i have done to someone when acting out in self-0will and the remedy is a phone call or txt, owning that i did wrong and taking responsibility to make it right.that, my fine fans, is a gift of living the program. enough about that and on to some other topics of interest today.

David M
Congrats on THIRTEEN (13) years clean, today!

this has been one of those days, where nothing went according to plan and as a result i have to be extra careful not to take my frustration out on anyone else. i was rudely jarred awake by alarms that should have never gone off. due to a lack of communication, i got the whole company up, way earlier than anyone had planned. i had a sprinkler circuit that has not worked in a week and i was asked to stop what i was doing and take some pictures for the neighbors. the good news is, i made it through all of that. i talked a sponsee off the ledge, got a workout in, fixed my sprinklers, ate lunch, got to jot down a few thoughts and send a shout out to a peer who has been around the rooms and in recovery for way over a minute. even though none of that was in the order i had planned, it got done. the best part is, other than a snarky e-mail that was well-deserved, i owe no one any amends or admission that i have done something wrong. what i consider a successful day, to say the least. it is a good day and a better one, now that i can go and enjoy a cigar with a friend and let the world spin as it will.

∞ DT ∞