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i read this reading this morning and after a while i had this gnawing concern

-- Is not guilt the result of less than stellar behaviors leading to harm of some kind? --

after a bit of pondering, i cam to the conclusion that the reading was not speaking to the issue of guilt in the HERE AND NOW, rather that guilt i carry on and on and on, long after i have asked to be forgiven by GOD or the injured party.
long after i have tried to forgive myself.
long after i have made amends and changed my life to reduce the chance of behaving similarly in the future.
what the reading is talking about are the shameful feelings i get when i do not believe that i am capable of being forgiven. that somehow my transgressions went way beyond the place where i could and should be forgiven for them.
and this is the stuff that keeps me sick.
i want and need my conscience to remind me GUILT that i have done wrong in the HERE AND NOW, i do not need nor do i desire my disease to use GUILT to make me feel less than or unworthy.
so just for today i will use willingness and humility to achieve freedom from guilt
-- DT --