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this reading, like so many, has a couple of notions that strike me, as i contemplate what i heard. first and foremost, the obvious one: recovery gives me more opportunit6ies and choices than addiction. from the start, once i stopped spending my ducats on drugs, i could start accumulating a few material things. i always told myself, that i was not materialistic and that things were unimportant, but once i had the resources, man did my material world side take off and did i ever learn my very first lesson about debt, things and what is and is not acceptable for me, at least in this realm. that was, however, just the first of my new opportunities that i discovered or uncovered, once i got clean, accepted that i had to be here for at least two years and did whatever it took to comply with my external masters. yes, i was one of those kissy-a$$ types, that said “how high” when asked to jump through the hoops to end my legal troubles.
ah, those simple days of early recovery, where all it seemed i had to do, is stay clean and keep the drama to a minimum.i stayed clean, i created very little chaos and eventually came to believe that recovery could be my choice and not something i was forced to do. had that change, that shift in attitudes, not occurred, it is doubtful that i would be sitting here this m0orning, hammering away at this, in fact it is doubtful that i would even be on this side of the grass. needless to say, what i see today, is the opportunity to be awake for opportunities and have the ability to exercise more than just a bit of freedom of choice. there will be some who say that free will is an illusion and can give a very logical and rational argument as to why, today, i choose to ignore them, if what i have is not free will, oh well, it feels like i have a choice and i do, the choice not to use No Matter What. from that choice, my daily recovery program springs, and i can be as active or as passive as i choose to be.
the second notion, that the reading brought up for me, is that life without drugs would be boring. in the beginning that was certainly true for me, as i left my friends and the activities i pursued with behind. yes i wanted to comply, and those who were here in the rooms told me, that IF i wanted to stay clean, it was certainly a good idea to let those friends go, and i did. what i got as a result, as i am not a very social person, was a whole lot of free time to spend my new found wealth and credit. BOOM, there you go, a perfect storm, as it was. what happened was that i was forced to find out who i was and see what i had to offer, as i learned the social skills i never had tine for, before. as i stayed clean, learned to implement recovery in my daily life and stick around for the right reasons, i am given new vistas and horizons on a daily basis, and not all of them involve the material world.
speaking of which, i got some deeds to get done before i get to hang with some friends, this afternoon. so it is hey-ho, off to work i go!

∞ DT ∞