Blog entry for:

and recovery.
generally once i sit down on Sunday, i get this little ditty written. today, that has not been the case, as i had to wait and wait and wait and wait on chat, for an issue i asked to be resolved three weeks ago. i was narky and condescending to the customer service rep, but apologized for my tone, as it was not his fault that not a thing got done three weeks ago, so by using the corrective part of the 10TH step, in real time, i avoid having to apply that step to at least that slice of my life today.
now back to the topic at hand, romance and recovery. there is an oft ignored suggestion around the rooms, that one refrain from leaving a current relationship or not engage in a new one, for at least the first 365 days. one may think the suggestion a cruel and heinous joke, as no one seems to heed it, but in reality, it is there to allow the newcomer to learn who they are and see what they have to offer, either to their current partner or their prospective one. life early recovery is difficult enough without adding the distraction of something as new, exciting and desirable as a romantic relationship. one of the most difficult task i had, was learning how to fit my life into recovery, rather than fitting recovery into my life. what i ended up doing, mostly because i am an extremist, was sublimating my life, to the point that i had none, to be all recovery JOE, a model addict in recovery, walking the straight and narrow and having all the answers. no time for romance, bromance or even developing relationships as i had to be that person for everyone else. once i got finally ensconced in the fellowship that is my life today, and once i started working the steps for real this time, i finally saw that relationships, especially the one with myself, was where i needed to focus, and as a result, when it came time to enter a romance, i was more than ready, or at least as ready as anyone could be for the roller-coaster ride of my life. each and every day, doing my best to remember that the ONLY reason i could have any sort of relationship, romantic or otherwise, was BECAUSE i had a program and a POWER that was fueling my recovery.
today? well today, i still make that same suggestion to the men i sponsor and to anyone who asks. i let them know the reason and allow them the freedom to choose for themselves. in my opinion, they often make the wrong choice, and i am here not to tell them that i told you so, but to get them through the trials and tribulations of being clean and restoring their program, before they decide the pain is too great to bear.
it is a good day to be clean, and perhaps i made the correct choices in fantasy football, to get me a better seed in the playoffs. only time will tell.

∞ DT ∞