Blog entry for:

always a good reminder for me, as is the conversation i sort of had last night, with a friend. i have been reaching out to him, via the communication channels that are at my immediate disposal, and have got nothing but crickets. this happens and i thought very little of it, after all, he just happens to be one of the people in my life struggling with all sorts of things. finally i resorted to a social media app, that i knew he used and BOOM, got a response. the conversation, quite terse and brief, came down to a couple of statements:

1. he wanted what he once had, back
2. he was scared

as much as i would love to reach out and snatch him back into this recovery gig, once and for all, i know it is his responsibility to step back towards the light. with that in mind, and how he got to where he is today, i can look to my own program and wonder if i smell the smoke of complacency. here is where i could list off all the actions i take to keep my recovery from going stale, and pat myself on the back for my diligence and perseverance. well i will simply say, that i DO take responsibility for my recovery today and i DO, do my best to live a program of active recovery.. i take to heart the line in our text that says: “we have never seen an addict fail to find recovery, that lives this program.”
while relapse may not be “failing to find recovery,” it certainly is not a symptom of success in my opinion.obstinate adherence to not using no matter what, may allow the recovery process to remain intact, but simple abstinence is not enough for me. i want more than just surviving clean, i want to thrive, and simple abstinence, while it works, is not a place i want to return to. if all i wanted was to stay clean, i could have left this program years, perhaps even a decade ago. no i want everything this program has to offer, and i am greedy son of a gun when it comes to claiming my share of the the infinite spiritual abundance i am being offered. just as when i was in active addiction, i want more, only the more i want cannot be paid for in easy installment payments and does not get steep discounts as the holidays approach. nope, what i want only comes when i choose to throw away my notions of how my life should go, of who is worth giving to, and what the spiritual side of this life may look like. when i am honest, open-minded and willing, i have the opportunity to tap into that abundance, even though it feels like i am drinking from a fire hose from time to time.
life is interesting today, and because of the weather event that dropped nearly 10 inches of snow on my locale, yesterday, i need to wrap this up and get heading on towards my next stop on today' train of activities. it is a good day to be vigilant and check to see if i have done enough to foster my growth in recovery.

∞ DT ∞