Blog entry for:

by doing what i NEED to do to continue to live an active program of recovery. as i sit here six days after the last meeting i showed up at, i realized i had to apologize for my behavior with the customer support agent, with whom i interacted with, this morning. she was doing her best and even if it was not fast enough, i had no reason to take my frustration out on her. miracles, of miracles, exactly 20 minutes after i made my call, <BOOM> my site worked again, after nearly 28 hours of being partially down. i could blame my frustration on the lack of meeting attendance, which certainly is a factor. i could blame it on the incompetence of the company i am dealing with, which is also a factor. the point being, that i too my frustration out on someone who was trying to assist me, and was not at the cause of my little “disaster.” that is the smoke in the room, where i vented, not that i needed to vent or that my anger and frustration was not justified.
now the time has come to peruse my credit card statements for all those little auto-pays that i have been missing, as i have now found a few that need to be cancelled. of course all kinds of stuff can be said bout this, mostly that i am a tool, who has been coasting along without paying detailed attention to my finances, which is true. my real anger is not at the web hosting company who drove my balance over my limit, it a perfect storm of auto-pays, but at em for being less than diligent about paying attention.
that same notion, can be applied to my recovery and now that i am awake to the fact that what i have been doing, is not quite enough, i am far from certain that my choice to stay clean today, will not be revoked. for now, all oi can do is pack up my traveling show, and head on over to a meeting. when i return to my domicile, there may be more in store for this addict, other than football and obsession about how the heck i am going to move past this week's opponent. it is a great day to be clean and perhaps even douse the embers that are littering the world around me. life in recovery need not be a chore.

∞ DT ∞