Blog entry for:

getting this task rolling this morning has been difficult for me. i am not one of those who dwells in sadness, the blues depression or despair. i am one of those who are affected by the season and driven into a “depressive” state by the length of day or number of sunny days. the last thing i want to do, is insult any of those who deal with REAL clinical depression,m by making light of their condition, BUT i also feel that these days it is way over diagnosed and way over-treated with a arsenal of mind and mood altering substances. those substances foster a dependence upon them and the giant pharmaceutical companies creating an never ending supply of cold hard cash, for conditions that may have well been temporary reactions to a set of current circumstances, such as sudden and complete abstinence from drugs. once again, for my friends, peers and acquaintances that really do suffer from clinical depression, i know that medication certainly allows one to function in society, quickly and with very few limits, which is probably a good thing.
i am not the “mary sunshine” type that walks around all day every day with a smile on my face and a song in my heart, either. i am subject to the full range of human emotions, and often have a boatload of different ones, every single day. i can be happy, sad, angry, hurt and yes even depressed, sometimes for very good reasons, and some of the time for no discernible reasons at all. i am certainly mostly powerless over my emotions these days and am unwilling to take control of them again. today, when i feel sad or yes depressed, i do have an out. i have friends and peers in the rooms, that can help me talk through my feelings and see that there really is a way out of my heart of darkness.
mostly the message i got from the reading is this: feeling depressed is usually temporary and a reaction to events in my life. i can stuff it and try to deal with it later, or i can embrace, allow it to wash over and through me and with the help of others, see the other side. seasonally affected depression? well that is cyclical and also temporary. as the days get longer and the clouds start burn away, i feel better without the use of drugs of any sort. no lamps, no vitamin regimes, no talk therapy, just a whole lot of patience and the FAITH that winter sun will once again return to its proper place in the sky and my patience will be rewarded, spring follows on after winter, and already the days are getting longer.
just for today? well just for today, i will treat my peers that suffer from clinical depression with a little more empathy and concern. i will treat myself a bit more kindly as my season of darkness starts to lift and when someone comes wanting to talk, i will listen instead of offering a solution, right off the bat. maybe all they need to do is dump.

∞ DT ∞